Beauty from pain

Pain... I don't even need to ask, we've all experienced it. It's uncomfortable, changes things, redirects our path in life and transforms us. For better or for worse...

The new year is barely here and I've already had to grow so much through pain, though I must admit I'm fascinated by what's happening...in me.

When my father passed away several years ago, the pain was so unbearable that I thought life was going to end right there and then. I remember being so angry at God that I asked Him to forget I even existed. I look back at all these years since that extremely difficult time in my life and can see now how God has used that experience to bring me wonderful things and shape me into a different and better person.

So right now I have this fresh wound in my soul that is bleeding and hurts a lot, and even though I naturally want to retaliate, whine, and be angry, there is this greater force giving me peace and strength and helping me know that this is not my battle. Well, sometimes I do whine and complain. Job did. It's only human, but here's what I'm learning about pain: God doesn't waste pain! We live in a bad world that is so far away from its Maker, where pain and suffering are daily occurrences, but God, in His infinite wisdom, longs to transform our pain into something beautiful. If we let Him, He'll do an incredible work in our lives through our difficult experiences. His work of transformation can be so amazing that we won't even recognize ourselves. In the end, we will be even more in love with our Heavenly Father. I know I am, even if it has taken me a few years to get here.

From pain God can make us stronger, our faith increases, and we learn to rest in His arms of love. We become humble and learn to trust in Him. We become more aware of the needs of others, and we can even become an encouragement to those who go through the same experience. Pain can also bring us closer to our friends and loved ones. We learn not to make the same mistakes and become more confident. There is an inner transformation, the gentle work of the Holy Spirit, that makes us better persons. God picks up the broken vessel and creates something even more beautiful than the original.

Isn't it wonderful to know that God has the ability to make something beautiful out of our painful experiences, and we don't have to suffer in vain?

Now think about your own painful experiences. I don't know what they are, but I do know that this world is an expert in pain. I know it hurts and it feels really, really bad. But I want to encourage you to ask God right now to transform your pain into something beautiful, just like He knows how to do so well. Tell Him that you don't want the pain to be in vain and that He has permission to pick up the pieces of your broken soul and recreate a new and even better you. If you must go through this experience, at least the end result can be a good thing.

I know God is already doing beautiful things through my pain.  I also know He's not done yet, so I'm curious at to what else He's going to do in me. But until then I'm going to curl up in His arms, maybe shed a few more tears, and simply wait...

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. "

Ecclesiastes 3:11

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.   

In this world you will have trouble. 

But take heart! I have overcome the world."

John 16:33

Building up!

It was one of those nights! I had gotten my son in bed and after leaving his room I started doing dishes and cleaning the kitchen, hoping to get it all done quickly enough so I could finally sit down and rest. It had been a long day and I was tired. A few minutes later he called me into his room. He was having growing pains. I sat by his bed and massaged his little legs until he said they didn't hurt anymore. I kissed him again and went back to the kitchen to finish what I was doing. Not even 10 minutes later he called again complaining of more growing pains. I sat on his bed and massaged his legs again until he said they didn't hurt anymore. Another kiss and back to the kitchen. I thought he was sleeping when he called again... he had a busy day and had a lot going on in his mind. I knew he wanted to talk more, but he had asked earlier if he could watch a little TV after supper and I said yes, so we didn't get to chat before bedtime like we usually do.

After calling me a few more times I started to get impatient. I just couldn't finish cleaning the kitchen and I was getting upset. Finally, after calling me 4 or 5 times back into his room he had been in bed for almost 2 hours and was still awake. I was frustrated! I went into his room and scolded him for calling me again and for still being awake. He said he had many things to talk about. I told him he had wanted to watch TV so now we couldn't talk anymore and that he needed to sleep right now! Of course I'm the parent. I should've said no to watching TV and controlled the time a little better.  He watched TV because I allowed him to. But at the moment I put the blame on him and left his room after telling him he could not call me anymore!

I went back to my cleaning, but my mind (or was it God?) started processing the whole thing. I could've said no to the TV and then my son would've gone to bed with plenty of time for us to talk like we usually do. And now he was going to fall asleep and the last words he had heard from his mommy were words of disapproval and blame. And then the what ifs started dancing in my mind. What if this was the last interaction I had with my son? What if I didn't have tomorrow to make sure he knew how much I loved him and admired the little man he was?

I stopped cleaning and decided that him knowing that was more important than a clean kitchen, or some quiet time for me, or even plenty of hours of sleep and an easy morning routine the next day. I wiped my wet hands on the kitchen towel and went one more time to his room. I sat on his bed and he looked at me surprised. "What are you doing mommy?" he asked.

I looked at that little face that I love so much and asked: " Do you know what bedtime song my mommy used to sing to me when I was a little girl?" And then I sang the song that helped me fall asleep so many times years ago. When I finished singing he opened his arms, gave me a big hug, and with the most beautiful smile told me how beautiful the song was. I told him I was sorry for my attitude earlier and then we just sat there talking about all kinds of interesting and fascinating things.

By the time I left his room I knew he was happy and I think he fell asleep before I even got back to the kitchen! As I finished cleaning I was thinking about it all and thanked my Heavenly Father for helping me see what was truly important.

The next morning I went into his room and gently kissed his cheeks to help him wake up. He opened his beautiful eyes, smiled, and asked me to sing the lullaby my mom used to sing to me. He fell asleep thinking about it. :)

How was the last interaction you had with your loved ones? Did you have words of encouragement or did you bring their spirit down? Did you leave your friends and family knowing that they are loved and appreciated? So many times we have words of criticism and judgement. So many times we are impatient just because people are a little different than us. How many times do we leave home in the morning upset with our children because they always make us late? How many times do we have words of criticism to our spouse, the person whom we are supposed to love the most in this world? How many times are we impatient with our elderly parents because they are just too slow and a bother to our fast paced life? How many times do we criticize our pastor because he doesn't lead the church the way we think he should? How many times do we bring down our fellow church members because they don't do what we think a Christian should do? How many times do we leave the people who cross our paths discouraged because of our words or attitude? And who knows if that was the last time, our last chance, to build them up?

The Bible has plenty of counsel on how we should talk with each other. So many times the Bible warns us about controlling our tongue. And the Bible so lovingly encourages us to encourage one another. Can you imagine the difference that would be if we were more loving toward each other? Talk about peace on earth!

But even if you can't get the whole world to be more loving, what about starting in your own little world? Think about the people in your life and make sure that today they know, without a doubt, that you love them and that you are so proud of who they are, just the way they are.

That's what Jesus does to us!

"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." 

Proverbs 18:21

"Encourage one another and build each other up!" 

I Thessalonians 5:11