Filthy rags

The entry on my journal for February 14 starts this way: “8:17 a.m. The day has barely started and I already feel like a failure.”

Have you ever felt like a failure? Sometimes I do and it’s a horrible feeling. You look around and realize that things are not going the way they should and it’s pretty much your fault. At least you think so. You realize that you are not all that after all and are able to mess things up quite a bit! And in your mind you just disappointed a bunch of people you care for, even if they don’t think so. Sometimes they don’t even know you’re feeling this way. I so wish I never felt like that, but once in a while it happens, and well, February 14 it happened. And it had nothing to do with being Valentine’s Day. It had everything to do with being another day in this crazy sinful earth.

This morning as I was driving and listening to the radio a lady was sharing an experience she had at a church called Scum of the Earth. She said she was sitting between a drunken man and a homeless man and the smell that was coming from both was enough to make her gag. The mixture of alcohol and body odor was getting unbearable when she realized that to God that’s exactly what we were... and He still came to die for us. That’s what the Bible means when it says that while we were still sinners, filthy, dirty, smelly sinners, Jesus came to die for us. (Romans 5:8)

The thought that I am such a sinner and that God still loves me unconditionally was more than I could bear and tears forced their way out of my eyes. Incredible! How can it be? How? The Bible says that our good works, the good things we do, are like filthy rags. Filthy rags? Do you know what that is? Imagine a dirty rag, with blood, vomit and bodily fluids. That’s what my good works are. (Isaiah 64:6). Are you disgusted yet? And even so God loves me so much that He sent His Son to die for me. I just can’t comprehend such love!

As I poured my heart to God on the pages of my journal I asked God to pick up my broken me and make something beautiful. I didn’t like the way I was feeling and my self value was very, very low. I wanted God to restore me and make me beautiful. But just as I was writing those words, God said: You already are beautiful.

I couldn’t write anymore. I had to stop in wonder at the thought that God thinks I’m beautiful. What? Me? Even though I was feeling like a failure, the God of the universe saw me as beautiful person, because to Him I’m beautiful no matter what. Wow!

After that, all I could write were words of adoration and appreciation because even though everything else in life fails, God never fails and is always there to help us through our difficult times. And this is because to Him we are beautiful. He loves us so much He thinks we are worth dying for. To Him we are more than simply flesh and bone. We are His creation, His children. His all existence right now is focused on us, helping us as we walk with Him to our Heavenly Home. And as we come to Him, He transforms us into His likeness again, we are a new creation. And all the bad things we’ve done, He takes them and throws them into the depths of the sea to be forever gone.

The God who created the universe loves you. Yes, you! Do you know what that means? It means that you are all that matters to Him. That you are precious, beautiful. He wants to spend time with you, He wants you to share your life with Him. It means that because of this love you are a child of the King of kings! Royalty. He wants you to be happy and happiness in God is secure, not dependable on circumstances or people. And this God has plans for you. Does He ever! Not the plans you’re thinking of right now. Better plans. Amazing plans! To give you an abundant life full of hope and a future. A future forever by His side. You... His most treasured possession. His most beautiful creation!

"My servant David... kept my commands and followed me with all his heart, doing only what was right in my eyes."

I Kings 14:8

"For God so loved the world...you... that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life."

John 3:16

Beauty from pain

Pain... I don't even need to ask, we've all experienced it. It's uncomfortable, changes things, redirects our path in life and transforms us. For better or for worse...

The new year is barely here and I've already had to grow so much through pain, though I must admit I'm fascinated by what's happening...in me.

When my father passed away several years ago, the pain was so unbearable that I thought life was going to end right there and then. I remember being so angry at God that I asked Him to forget I even existed. I look back at all these years since that extremely difficult time in my life and can see now how God has used that experience to bring me wonderful things and shape me into a different and better person.

So right now I have this fresh wound in my soul that is bleeding and hurts a lot, and even though I naturally want to retaliate, whine, and be angry, there is this greater force giving me peace and strength and helping me know that this is not my battle. Well, sometimes I do whine and complain. Job did. It's only human, but here's what I'm learning about pain: God doesn't waste pain! We live in a bad world that is so far away from its Maker, where pain and suffering are daily occurrences, but God, in His infinite wisdom, longs to transform our pain into something beautiful. If we let Him, He'll do an incredible work in our lives through our difficult experiences. His work of transformation can be so amazing that we won't even recognize ourselves. In the end, we will be even more in love with our Heavenly Father. I know I am, even if it has taken me a few years to get here.

From pain God can make us stronger, our faith increases, and we learn to rest in His arms of love. We become humble and learn to trust in Him. We become more aware of the needs of others, and we can even become an encouragement to those who go through the same experience. Pain can also bring us closer to our friends and loved ones. We learn not to make the same mistakes and become more confident. There is an inner transformation, the gentle work of the Holy Spirit, that makes us better persons. God picks up the broken vessel and creates something even more beautiful than the original.

Isn't it wonderful to know that God has the ability to make something beautiful out of our painful experiences, and we don't have to suffer in vain?

Now think about your own painful experiences. I don't know what they are, but I do know that this world is an expert in pain. I know it hurts and it feels really, really bad. But I want to encourage you to ask God right now to transform your pain into something beautiful, just like He knows how to do so well. Tell Him that you don't want the pain to be in vain and that He has permission to pick up the pieces of your broken soul and recreate a new and even better you. If you must go through this experience, at least the end result can be a good thing.

I know God is already doing beautiful things through my pain.  I also know He's not done yet, so I'm curious at to what else He's going to do in me. But until then I'm going to curl up in His arms, maybe shed a few more tears, and simply wait...

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. "

Ecclesiastes 3:11

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.   

In this world you will have trouble. 

But take heart! I have overcome the world."

John 16:33

Building up!

It was one of those nights! I had gotten my son in bed and after leaving his room I started doing dishes and cleaning the kitchen, hoping to get it all done quickly enough so I could finally sit down and rest. It had been a long day and I was tired. A few minutes later he called me into his room. He was having growing pains. I sat by his bed and massaged his little legs until he said they didn't hurt anymore. I kissed him again and went back to the kitchen to finish what I was doing. Not even 10 minutes later he called again complaining of more growing pains. I sat on his bed and massaged his legs again until he said they didn't hurt anymore. Another kiss and back to the kitchen. I thought he was sleeping when he called again... he had a busy day and had a lot going on in his mind. I knew he wanted to talk more, but he had asked earlier if he could watch a little TV after supper and I said yes, so we didn't get to chat before bedtime like we usually do.

After calling me a few more times I started to get impatient. I just couldn't finish cleaning the kitchen and I was getting upset. Finally, after calling me 4 or 5 times back into his room he had been in bed for almost 2 hours and was still awake. I was frustrated! I went into his room and scolded him for calling me again and for still being awake. He said he had many things to talk about. I told him he had wanted to watch TV so now we couldn't talk anymore and that he needed to sleep right now! Of course I'm the parent. I should've said no to watching TV and controlled the time a little better.  He watched TV because I allowed him to. But at the moment I put the blame on him and left his room after telling him he could not call me anymore!

I went back to my cleaning, but my mind (or was it God?) started processing the whole thing. I could've said no to the TV and then my son would've gone to bed with plenty of time for us to talk like we usually do. And now he was going to fall asleep and the last words he had heard from his mommy were words of disapproval and blame. And then the what ifs started dancing in my mind. What if this was the last interaction I had with my son? What if I didn't have tomorrow to make sure he knew how much I loved him and admired the little man he was?

I stopped cleaning and decided that him knowing that was more important than a clean kitchen, or some quiet time for me, or even plenty of hours of sleep and an easy morning routine the next day. I wiped my wet hands on the kitchen towel and went one more time to his room. I sat on his bed and he looked at me surprised. "What are you doing mommy?" he asked.

I looked at that little face that I love so much and asked: " Do you know what bedtime song my mommy used to sing to me when I was a little girl?" And then I sang the song that helped me fall asleep so many times years ago. When I finished singing he opened his arms, gave me a big hug, and with the most beautiful smile told me how beautiful the song was. I told him I was sorry for my attitude earlier and then we just sat there talking about all kinds of interesting and fascinating things.

By the time I left his room I knew he was happy and I think he fell asleep before I even got back to the kitchen! As I finished cleaning I was thinking about it all and thanked my Heavenly Father for helping me see what was truly important.

The next morning I went into his room and gently kissed his cheeks to help him wake up. He opened his beautiful eyes, smiled, and asked me to sing the lullaby my mom used to sing to me. He fell asleep thinking about it. :)

How was the last interaction you had with your loved ones? Did you have words of encouragement or did you bring their spirit down? Did you leave your friends and family knowing that they are loved and appreciated? So many times we have words of criticism and judgement. So many times we are impatient just because people are a little different than us. How many times do we leave home in the morning upset with our children because they always make us late? How many times do we have words of criticism to our spouse, the person whom we are supposed to love the most in this world? How many times are we impatient with our elderly parents because they are just too slow and a bother to our fast paced life? How many times do we criticize our pastor because he doesn't lead the church the way we think he should? How many times do we bring down our fellow church members because they don't do what we think a Christian should do? How many times do we leave the people who cross our paths discouraged because of our words or attitude? And who knows if that was the last time, our last chance, to build them up?

The Bible has plenty of counsel on how we should talk with each other. So many times the Bible warns us about controlling our tongue. And the Bible so lovingly encourages us to encourage one another. Can you imagine the difference that would be if we were more loving toward each other? Talk about peace on earth!

But even if you can't get the whole world to be more loving, what about starting in your own little world? Think about the people in your life and make sure that today they know, without a doubt, that you love them and that you are so proud of who they are, just the way they are.

That's what Jesus does to us!

"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." 

Proverbs 18:21

"Encourage one another and build each other up!" 

I Thessalonians 5:11

Love cup

Have you ever heard of the love cup? Dr Kuzma, a child educator, explains that every child has a love cup that needs to be filled and it is the parents' responsibility to keep that love cup overflowing. When the child's love cup is full, home life becomes much easier not only for the child, but also for the parents! Home turns into a happy and safe place.

I believe that all of us have a love cup that needs to be filled and life is so much better when we feel loved and feel secure in knowing that.

A few weeks ago I came home from a difficult day emotionally exhausted and drained. My son asked me how I was doing and I told him that I had had a hard day and was a little sad. He came close to me and asked me if my love cup was empty. He had never asked me that question before, but we had talked about the love cup a few weeks prior. I looked at him and told him that yes, that day my love cup was pretty empty. Soon his little arms were around me and he started kissing my cheeks while asking if my love cup was already full. I told him it was full up to my knees so he continued hugging and kissing. Then I told him it was full up to my waist. A few more hugs and kisses until my love cup was filled up to my neck and after nearly drowning in hugs and kisses I told him my love cup was overflowing!!

Tonight we were talking about the love cup again when we started wondering if God's love cup was full. We were quiet for a few moments and then started telling God how special He was to us.

Have you noticed how everything in life is about us? We are born selfish creatures and struggle against that natural tendency for the rest of our lives. In our day-to-day we are constantly focused on us, each other, work, family, friends, what to eat, what to dress, or where to go. So much is about us. Even God is completely focused on our well being and the plan of salvation was made because of us. God is constantly working to keep our love cups overflowing.

But what about God's love cup? Have you ever thought of that? Who fills His love cup?

I believe that our love for Him keeps His love cup overflowing! When we turn from our selfish life and decide to follow Him with all that we are, His love cup gets filled up. When we look at the amazing nature around us and acknowledge Him as Creator, His love cup gets filled up. When out of love we decide to follow His commands in spite of our natural inclinations, His love cup gets filled up. When we tell others about our Amazing God, His love cup gets filled up. When we trust in Him with everything in our lives, His love cup gets filled up. When our first and last thoughts of the day are about Him, His love cup is filled up. When we praise and worship Him because of who He is, His love cup is filled up. And our love towards Him keeps His love cup overflowing!

He has done everything for us. He has given of Himself for us. Doesn't He deserve at least our praise and worship? Our love? What about taking a few moments right now to fill God's love cup with your praise and adoration?

"The LORD is gracious and compassionate, 

slow to anger and rich in love. 

The LORD is good to all; He has compassion on all He has made. All Your works praise you, LORD; Your faithful people extol You.

They tell of the glory of Your kingdom and speak of Your might, so that all people may know of Your mighty acts and the glorious splendor of Your kingdom. 

Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom and Your dominion endures through all generations."

Psalm 145:8-13

Temporarily separated.

Death is such an unexpected and terrible thing. At the same time is the expected in this sinful world. Today a girl I knew passed away. As I was reading about the news this incredible sadness filled my heart. She had been sick and just 4 days ago received the news that she had a matching donor and would be able to get well soon. Everyone was rejoicing with the news and gladly renewed their prayers of praise and thanksgiving. 4 days later things made a turn for the worse and now she's gone, leaving behind her husband and son. 


I was having a difficult time moving on with my day after the news. This world is so sad. How horrible that this husband and son had just lost their wife and mother. And how many other children loose their parents, or parents loose their children. There is so much suffering. I was asking God to come quickly. I want to go Home...In my heavenly home there will be no suffering or pain, no tears, no death. There will be no separation of loved ones. Can't wait...


But just then I had some music playing and one started...His eyes are on the sparrow... and He watches over me, why should I feel discouraged? The words of this song gave me comfort and the assurance of God's strength and certainty. Nothing in this world is certain, only He is, and He is there for me, every day, every moment of my life. 

I should know this. I've been through the experience of loosing my father at a young age. And as horrible and difficult that experience was and still is, God has carried me through in amazing ways and has been my stronghold. I know then that He will be Sara's husband and son stronghold as well. He'll carry them through this experience, giving them His amazing peace and helping them to hold on to the hope and assurance that their separation from her is temporary. One day, God will put an end to the suffering and we will be reunited with our loved ones. Can't wait for that day!

 

"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth... There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

Revelation 21:1,4

Old fashioned

This morning I heard the story of a couple in Iowa who were married for 72 years before dying in a tragic car accident this past week. They were both placed in the same room in the ICU and were holding hands when they died within an hour of each other. The husband, who died first, stopped breathing but his heart monitor showed that his heart was still beating. The nurse explained to the family that the monitor was picking his wife’s heart beat because they were holding hands.

What a beautiful story. Not only because of how their life together ended, but mostly because they got to share so much of their life with each other. 72 years… incredible! Think of the stories they got to write together and how their marriage impacted so many generations not only of their families, but also of us who learned of their story.

Who doesn’t want an experience like that in our own lives? For those of us who have started on this journey called marriage, don’t you long to share so many more years with the person you love? Almost no one enters marriage thinking that it will end soon or that divorce is how it will end. Pretty much everyone that gets married thinks it is it! You’re married for life! All our dreams come through the moment we say I do.

But then why so many divorces? Why so many broken homes? Why so much pain and sadness?

Where God has placed me at this time of my life, I have the opportunity to witness the results of broken relationships. The confusion, the shattered dreams, the tears, vanished hopes truly break my heart, but I believe that most of it comes down to this: choices! Our broken relationships are mostly the result of the choices we make.  Our choices pretty much dictate where we will go in this life including how good our marriage will be and how long it will last. And that doesn’t start the moment we say I do. It begins a lot sooner than that, before we ever even step a foot on that aisle. And it continues for the rest of our life.

That older couple from Iowa had 4 children. One of their sons said that his parents had an old fashioned marriage, where they had made up their mind to stay together until the end. If that is old fashioned marriage than I’m advocating for it and hoping that every marriage is old fashioned.

If a happy and long lasting marriage with the person you love is what you want, start making good choices today. Live a healthy life so your mind is clear to make good decisions, educate yourself, prepare well your future, choose well your friends, develop your talents. If you are already dating get to know your partner well and keep your body, that incredible gift from God, for your spouse.

If you’re already married remember to tell your spouse how much you love them. Those words are so important to be told. And not only tell them, show them. Think about their needs, make your spouse the most important person in the world. Make sure they know they are valued and valuable to you. Show them respect and never ever use words to bring your spouse down. On the contrary, build them up. Smile often, talk, go for walks, play, share, and hold hands. 

And to make sure we succeed at making good choices, there is someone who wants to help you, someone who is the definition of love, someone who wants to give you only the best and shower you with good gifts. That someone is God and He can’t wait to help you prepare for the rest of your life. Hold on to Him! That will be your best choice for sure!

Of course we live in a sinful world and it takes 2 people making good choices to have a long and happy marriage, but do your very best, starting today, to make sure your marriage relationship is one that lasts ‘till death do us part.’

http://acarelessdreamer.typepad.com/acarelessdreamer/love/

“Encourage one another, and build each other up.”
I Thessalonians 5:11

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
John 3:16

Immortal!

Today I was driving to town and decided to listen to the radio. The usual Christian station I like to listen to was playing music that I wasn’t so interested in at the moment so I started flipping through the stations. Another Christian station was having a program of questions and answers. Listeners could call in and some theologian would answer their questions. Many questions were coming in but one caught my attention not only because of the question but also because of the answer.

The listener said that as he was reading the Bible he came to the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. You can read about it in Genesis 18:16 - 19: 29. God looked at those wicked cities and decided that they needed to be destroyed. After talking with His friend Abraham about it, God rescued Lot from those bad cities and burned them down. The listener said that he found out that even though the Bible says that Sodom and Gomorrah would be burning forever, they obviously aren’t, so he wanted to understand this better.

The theologian then went on explaining his idea of hell and that even though the cities weren’t burning for ever, the souls of the wicked people were. He said these people have been tormented in the fire of hell since the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Now this idea does not come from the Bible for the Bible doesn’t teach that. And how unfair of God that those who go to hell now don’t suffer as long as the wicked people who died long ago. Somehow the theologian was able to explain this belief using his reasoning and not God’s word. Now what struck me was that the lady who was facilitating the program added some of her thoughts on the matter and ended up saying: there are only 2 things that are immortal, God’s word and us!

Her comment really saddened me because if there is one thing that we are not is immortal! Only God is immortal. In the garden of Eden God told Adam and Eve that if they ate of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil they would certainly die and that’s exactly what’s been happening to us since that fateful day. Satan is the one who has been deceiving us into thinking that no, we will not die, but we will be like God. And generation after generation we’re taught that we don’t die, that we are somehow immortal. And we explain this by separating our body from our soul even though God’s word makes no such separation. 

Now the good news is that one day we will receive immortality. By dying on the cross Jesus defeated eternal death and provided a way for us to have eternal life. One day Jesus will come to get His children and take them home and on that day He will get rid of our mortality and in the twinkling of an eye, in a flash, we will be transformed and clothed with immortality. I Corinthians 15:51-54 And those who have died believing in Jesus as their Savior will rise to meet their Lord face to face and live with Him forever. Can’t wait for that day!

I know this is subject of a longer study. There’s so much to learn about hell, immortality and what happens when we die, but I hope one thing. I hope that listener went back to his Bible and searched God’s word for the truth for only there will he find it. And that goes for me too. It’s obviously ok to talk with other people and learn of other people’s walk with Christ, but we need to be like the Berean Jews of Acts 17:11 who “received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.”

Now what about going to your Bible and see if what I’m saying is true as well? :)

“God, the blessed and only ruler; 

the King of kings and Lord of lords,  

who alone is immortal 

and who lives in unapproachable light, 

whom no one has seen or can see.”
I Timothy 6:16