As I read those letters, I felt a desire to go back in time and redo some of the things I did. I wish I could've used different words or done things a little differently. I wish I could go back to some people and apologize for my childish behavior and for thinking I knew better. You know, teenagers know everything. ;) I guess some things of my past where dragging me down.
I sat there on the floor, resting against the foot of my bed, just thinking about those days gone by. In some of my journal entries I asked God to change me. I guess I didn't like me that much then. Maybe I felt like I was holding myself back. I wasn't where I wanted to be because of me. I didn't have the life I thought I wanted and I turned to God to change the person I was. So it is incredible to look at my old self and my new self and realize that God did change me. Not how I was expecting at the time, but God has made me into a better person. I'm not sure how He did it, but He did it! And I know He's not finished with me yet, so I can't wait to see what else He's going to do. I'm a masterpiece in progress, although I have a feeling that in God's eyes I'm already a masterpiece. :)
Thoughts were racing through my mind and I slowly came back to 2012. I really can't change the past. And some of the things I did were the result of immaturity. I would've done differently now simply because I've grown a little more and I've changed. People change. The past is exactly where it's supposed to be: in the past. It's part of my growth. It happened how it was supposed to happen based on what I knew and the life experience I had. It's no use trying to change or fix it. I can't! It would probably just make things worse anyway. And I really don't have to. Unless I hurt someone and I need to express my sorrow, my past happened how it happened and now I just need to keep moving forward. And I'm sure a few years from now I'm going to look back at 2012 and not know what I was thinking because I'm not done growing and learning.
So there's no need to dwell on the past. The only reason the past is there, is to help me see God's work in my life, and that has been incredible. I need my past to see where I was and where I am now, which gives me hope to where I will be when God is finished with the work He has to do in me. He promised to complete it so I know He will.
Now, like Paul said, I forget the things that are behind me and press forward. I look ahead. I have a crown of glory waiting for me. When I finish this race, God will smile and say, "Well done, good and faithful servant." Matthew 25:23
Is your past dragging you down? Do you feel like you just can't get out from under it? Are you constantly being reminded of your mistakes and immaturity? Your past is part of your story, but it doesn't need to be your story. God can change it into something amazing. He's got plans to prosper you and to give you a future. He has a crown of glory with your name in it waiting for you. Any past mistakes, sins, wrongdoings God wants to forgive and bury in the deep of the ocean to be gone forever as if they never existed! Give it all to Him and watch what He does with your life. Get up and continue the race. You're almost there! No need to rely on how many times you've fallen. You just need to get to that finish line. And God will run with you, helping you along the way. Keep your eyes on the prize! What's behind is exactly where it needs to be, behind. Now just press forward, toward the amazing future God has prepared for you!
"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. "
Philippians 3:13,14
"And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."
Philippians 1:6
I enjoyed very much reading this blog. Such powerful words. Thanks for sharing this.
ReplyDelete