15 Minute Car Trip

Photo by Frank McKenna on Unplash

Driving to work earlier this week, I was smiling from ear to ear as I was thinking of Heaven.  A life of eternal joy and peace, as distant from sin as eternity, made my heart happy. Just can’t wait! The morning was beautiful, clouds played above the snowy mountains in the distance, and the sun shone brightly above them. The beginning of a new day, and all I could think about was Heaven. Bliss!

But then I looked in the rearview mirror at the car behind me and I was brought back to earth. A woman drove, but the shadows of the car hid her face so that I couldn’t really see her. On the passenger seat, the sun shone strong on the face of the young man sitting beside her. He had Down Syndrome. My mind started thinking about the mother’s love, patience, and challenges as she strove to prepare her son for life in this world.

This was a busy and emotionally stimulating week. There is so much pain. We truly go through  much hardship on this earth. A friend who believes her prayers don’t pass the ceiling of her home. A friend going through a divorce and struggling to make ends meet. A friend who lost an important amount of money to a trusted loved one. A friend whose young nephew is struggling for his life due complications of the flu. A friend who closes up in her depression. Unplanned pregnancies. Unable to conceive. Feelings of guilt. Struggling with anxiety. Loss of health. Separation of loved ones by distance or death. Work problems. Marriage problems. Parenting challenges.

I thought about all this. The faces of people whom I love attached to all these problems. And I’m still struggling myself to learn to live in this world without any of my parents.

I looked at the car beside me, a young man in the driver’s seat, and wondered what his struggles were?

Overwhelmed by emotion and sadness, my eyes filled with tears. What a horrible world we live in. What a difficult lot sin has placed in our existence.

Thankfully, God gently reminded me that I am to place all my anxieties upon Him. So I did. I placed in His hands each one of my friends and loved ones, including myself. And I felt peace. Because in God’s care is where we all need to be.

How precious then are God’s promises of Heaven and eternal life with Him. How wonderful that our suffering is contained to his earth only. Soon we will be enjoying life, real life, forever separated from sin and its effects, in a place of joy and peace. It’s going to be amazing!

By the time I got to work, I was again smiling from ear to ear. Heaven was, once again, on my mind. What a beautiful day. What an awesome God I serve.

"And the God of all grace who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.

To Him be the power for ever and ever. Amen."

I Peter 5:10, 11

Reflections

Sitting at my desk at the end of another day. January quickly vanishing in time. Where does time go? Where does it come from? The clock constantly ticking the minutes and hours away, never to return. Everything seems so insignificant and yet so full of meaning. In the scope of eternity, these fleeting moments of time, though apparently unimportant, are filled with essence and purpose. Precious time. Heavenly gift.

And as I reflect on my day, my mind wanders to my favorite time this morning. The early rush was causing me stress, trying to get everything ready for the day before heading out the door. The chaos of the many things to get done before leaving.

Then my son sat at the piano and started playing. The sound produced by his fingers was beautiful. His heart touching every single note. And I couldn’t resist but stand still with the time. I sat on the couch behind him savoring every bite of my breakfast, looking at the little birds on the other side of the patio door enjoying theirs, while listening to the pleasant sounds happening near me. Chopin, Bach, Paul de Senneville and Olivier Toussaint among others, all blending together in beautiful music. My son at the piano. Precious peaceful moments that I will treasure forever. My mother would be so proud.

I believe I carried the effects of these quiet early morning minutes with me for the rest of the day. And as I reflect on it I feel gratitude. Although there is so much I don’t understand about this one life God gave me, although I so often have to press on by faith because I just can’t see it, He fills my life with moments that touch me and change me forever. And for that I am grateful.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time."

Ecclesiastes 3:11

 

Foot Prints on the Sand

Sitting here in my home office looking out the window and thinking about the past year. I would love to say that 2017 was the most horrible year of my life, but I can’t. It was an extremely difficult year, I can’t deny that. This past year I attended at least eight funerals, including my own mother’s. I lost friends and family to illness, to homicide, and to accidents. And there were other trials. Many other trials. During this time, my family and I spent several weeks apart due to obligations out of state - even out of the country - and work schedule conflicts. We were away from each other during some of the toughest times. The emotional and spiritual struggles were extremely intense.

Yet I just can’t bring myself to say this was the most horrible year of my life. I can’t because the whole time I know without a doubt that I was being carried in the arms of Jesus.

Do you know that story of the footprints on the sand? A person had a dream about walking with God on a beach and all was well until he noticed that during his most difficult times there was only one set of foot prints on the sand. Upset, thinking that God had left him when he needed Him the most, he complained to God. Lovingly God explained that the foot prints the man saw belonged to Him. During the person’s trials and tribulations, God gently carried him in His arms.

That’s where I have been this past year, and still am. In God’s arms. There is no way I could’ve done it on my own. So as I look back at the foot prints on the sand, I only see on set: God’s.

This close to Him I’ve been able to see life a tiny little bit the way He sees. In His arms I’ve felt safe and loved. He has given me strength, comfort, and peace beyond human understanding, and given me the courage to hold on tight to Him during the most difficult times.

I don’t know when I’ll be able to put my feet back on the ground and take some steps on my own. I trust He will gently put me back down when the time is right. Even then I don’t have to worry, because I know I’ll walk under the shelter of His wings. And if needed be, He'll pick me up in His arms again.

Photo by Bill Kasper

"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and protection."

Psalm 91:4

Healing my Broken Heart

    I was getting ready for my morning jog. I put on my tennis shoes, grabbed my sunglasses, my phone, put my ear phones in, and got ready to hit the pavement in the company of motivational people like Rich Roll, Dave Ramsey, or maybe some great TED speakers. I stepped outside the house and was about to start my podcast app when I felt the gentle touch of the warm sun and the cool morning air on my skin. It felt so good and peaceful that suddenly I wanted silence and quietness. No longer did I want the company of people through my podcasts app. I put the phone away and started walking down the street to warm up while enjoying the beautiful morning. I love mornings, and what a beautiful encounter God had planned for the two of us at the beginning of that new day.
    As I walked, I began to hear singing. The song was familiar, but I hadn’t heard it in a while. The melody was beautiful and perfect and made my heart rejoice. I wanted to find the singer, and as I neared the sound I finally saw him. I looked up, and on top of a tall tree, a male house finch greeted the day with the most beautiful song. I stopped for a few seconds looking up to admire him. I had to smile as I tried to imagine why he was singing so happily. Summer has ended and cooler Fall days have started to embrace this part of the world. Perhaps he was happy because he had spent the last few months raising his family and knew he had prepared his children well for life in this world. He was probably rejoicing on a job well done. Or maybe the house finch on top of the tree was a young male who had spent the Summer being raised by good loving parents, and was happy that he had been well prepared for life as an adult. Whatever the reason, I was certainly witnessing a praise session. That little bird was content and he made me feel content too.
    I started thinking about how I had woken up that morning. As I slowly opened my eyes from sleep and realized it was the beginning of a new day, I had to smile. And then I smiled again because I don’t remember waking up smiling in a very long time. And I smiled some more because I knew my Heavenly Father had placed that smile on my lips.
    2017 has been a difficult year for me. From January until now, Murphy Law has tried to take over my days again and again, sometimes with much success. Words like “horrible, depressing, let down, discouraging” and many others like these have been part of my vocabulary for the past several months. I have experienced loss, hurt, criticism, sadness, and disappointment. However, as God helps me to see deeper, I have also experienced love, compassion, growth, generosity, healing, and so many more amazing things. With my eyes on Jesus, who helps me focus on the good, I can wake up smiling in spite of the storm that has encapsulated me for the past few months. I pray I keep my eyes on Him at all times! As I have learned before, and I'm experiencing it again, God doesn’t waste our pain, but always makes something beautiful out of our suffering.
    Several weeks before my mother passed away, she told me how she was ready to rest from it all. Hurting, I told her we were going to miss her very, very much. “You’ll be ok” she told me looking away.  The first few weeks after she died I would remember her words and in the midst of my pain think that no, we were not ok, but as God does his gentle work in my life, I’m starting to see my mother was right. Moms are always right! I am ok and I shall be ok. I do miss her deeply, and often the sharp pain of my loss comes out in a stream of tears down my face. I don't know when or if that will ever end. However, my mom knew that God has promised to heal the brokenhearted and to save those who are crushed in spirit. That's how she could say we would be ok. 
    If you are going through a difficult time, know that God sees your pain. Not one tear you shed goes unnoticed by your Heavenly Father. He cries with you, but more than that, He is very near, embracing you with love, strength, and comfort. Simply curl up in His arms while the storm passes by. And the God who loves you more than anything, will too heal your broken heart, bind your wounds, and gently turn your pain into something beautiful.

    So 2017 has been very difficult, but also very good. I have a beautiful life, a wonderful family, a job I thoroughly enjoy, great friends, people who enrich my prayer life, and a God that wow,

every day surpasses all my expectations and understanding. He loves me unconditionally and is healing my broken heart. He also gave me great parents who prepared me well for life as an adult in this world. Parents who gave me everything I need to continue my journey on this earth until I go to my Heavenly Home. Until that day, I'll just stay close to my Heavenly Father as He does His work of shaping me more into His image.
    I am content and as I was coming home from my morning jog, I decide to join the house finch in song.
 

 

I love you Lord, and I lift my voice,
to worship You, all my soul rejoice.
Take joy my King, in what You hear.
May it be a sweet, sweet sound, in Your ear. 

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

Psalm 147:3

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Psalm 34:18

Bear Tracks

   

I had been looking forward to a nice hike up in the mountains. We were spending a few days in nature with friends, and the hike up on the mountain was high on my wish list. The setting was beautiful and the scenery from the top was breathtaking. We collected delicate flowers, an orange feather, took many pictures of the view, and had fun exploring when we decided to go for a hike. While exploring we started noticing different tracks. Some human foot prints, deer prints, some we new belonged to dogs, and then we saw them…bear tracks! They looked pretty dry so I assumed they weren’t recent, but as a group we became naturally a little more alert of our surroundings. One member of the group expressed that it was probably a good time to go back to our car, but not everyone agreed.
    We continued exploring the trail, taking in the beautiful scenery, the mountain top views, the different type of birds with their songs, and enjoying the fresh mountain air when we stumbled upon another set of bear tracks...smaller bear tracks. We thought they might be from a cub and where there is a baby bear, there is most likely a mother bear. This time there were more expressions of concern and even fear. Some in our group strongly expressed the need to go back and as I learned that day, fear is contagious. I finally asked who wanted to go back and it was decided that the majority was ready for a u-turn.

    We hiked back where there was a restaurant and more people, a safer place to explore. As we were looking around we found a map of the trails in the area. When we looked at the trail we had come from, we noticed that in the middle of the loop there was a lake. A mountain top lake! How cool it would have been to have seen it. It must have been beautiful. As we all pondered on the idea of a lake on top of the mountain, someone suggested going back and finding the lake, but by then it was time to get back to ground level. Just then we realized that we had missed a great opportunity because we allowed fear to dictate what we should do. Fear had won and we missed out on something that could’ve been really cool.
   

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said that fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world. We were definitely defeated by our fear of possible bears and may have missed out on a very nice experience. I’m not saying we should be careless with wild life. We should be very cautious and alert, but there were other groups on that trail, before and even after us and the tracks didn't seem too recent.
    Fear can be very debilitating in our lives, not only when hiking in the great outdoors. Think about the fears you have. Maybe you’re afraid of flying on an airplane, so you miss out on experiencing beautiful places that are far away. Maybe you’re afraid of changing careers, but you may be missing out on a great professional experience. You may be afraid of telling that special someone that you like them, but you may miss out on the relationship of your life! Maybe you're afraid of restoring an old friendship damaged by hurt feelings, but you’ll be missing out on the peace and joy that comes from forgiving and being forgiven. Maybe you're afraid of committing to a life of following God, but you'll be missing on your greatest adventure for this life and for eternity. Perhaps your fears are preventing you from running after your dreams, but you may miss out on the mission and purpose of your existence.
    Henry Ford, the founder of the Ford Motor Company, once said: “One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” It’s amazing what we can do when we overcome our fears. Don’t let fear get in the way of your dreams or of reaching your full potential. You and God can do all things together. We fear what could be, often an idea that is only in our mind, but if we overcome that obstacle, we will have wonderful opportunities. So get up and face your fears head on. Perhaps on the other side of the trail you’ll get to experience a beautiful mountain top lake. 

"Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41:10 

Purpose

    Sitting here in my office with the window open, I can hear the sound of water drops falling from the roof onto the stony ground. I think it rained last night, or maybe even early this morning. Gray clouds gently pass by taking the rain with them and giving way to light blue skies. The sun still hides behind the tall mountains to the east. It’s early in the morning and I enjoy a still quietness around me while most of my world still sleeps. At some distance I can hear the occasional sounds of phoebes and little gold finches greeting the early hours of the morning. It’s a new day, with new promises, promises of love, life, and mercy.
    This past week, what had been threatening to happen for several months finally happened as my mother closed her eyes to life on this earth. During these last few months, prayers for healing gave way to prayers for wisdom, then prayers of surrendering of the will, and finally to prayers for peace, strength, and comfort. Someone told me that my mother prepared herself and her family for this moment. Looking back I can see how true this statement is. For the past few months, she helped us realize what a good life she had, but also what a better life awaits her. To her last breath, she was working to help us prepare for a life without her daily presence in this earth and for an eternity together in Heaven. For now she rests from the cares of this world. The time spent with her and our conversations, made me realize the vanity, but also the purpose of life here on earth. We humans are constantly running to and from, so busy with so many things. Think about your day yesterday. What did you accomplish for eternity? Were you so busy with your daily activities that the 24 hours you were given were wasted with things of no true value? Those precious hours, an incredible gift from God, will never be recovered. What about the 24 hours that we are graciously being given today? I was looking at the little birds the other day and thinking about their lives. They are busy gathering their food and feeding their young, but also spend so much time flying, enjoying the sky, and singing from tree to tree. They know their Heavenly Father is taking care of them and they will lack nothing they truly need. I know humans are more complex creatures with more complex emotions and way of thinking, but there is something to be learned. I envy the birds’ contentment with life. They’re not busy worried if their nests obey the rules of Feng Shui, if it’s minimalist enough, or even if their homes are full to the brim with a bunch of cool stuff. They are content with their lives and so they have time to spend exploring the skies and singing praises to their Creator. I envy that!
    These past few months I have been blessed to see through my mother what a life completely focused on Christ truly is and I must say it’s beautiful. Even simply laying in bed, my mom showed us what the real purpose of our earthly life is. In the midst of our daily activities, Christ must be the center of it all, and sharing Him with those around us starting with our family is our purpose. Everything we do every single moment of our day must be for Him and only the complete surrender of our will to Christ will prepare us for life eternal. And there is nothing more I desire than eternal life, a life without sin and suffering. How wonderful it sounds! I’ll get to walk on streets made of gold, spend forever with my mother and my father, and continually praise the One who gave everything so He can enjoy eternal life with me! But I must share this reality with others because Heaven is great news! Jesus’ burden while on this earth was the salvation of others and He said I should trade my burden for His. This means I too must have the salvation of those around me and sharing His love for all as the center of my mission.
    The sun has finally appeared lighting the roof tops of the houses around me. The sky is now a beautiful blue and there is a choir of birds outside greeting the day. The scent of a brand new morning gently makes its way into my office through the open window. I just heard the sound of a car driving in front of the house. My world is slowly waking up and soon I’ll enjoy the blessing of the voices of people I love so much. All I can say is that God is good and I am tremendously blessed! 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30 

"The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever."

Isaiah 40:8

Things...

   
    This morning I was talking with my mom on the phone and she told me of a dream she had last night. She was doing a yard sale of all her clothes and all her shoes. She was looking at all her stuff and wondered how she was going to sell all those things when a lady came to the house, gathered all the items and said she would pay $5 for each of the clothes and $3 for each pair of shoes. She paid for it all and left with everything. My mom didn't have to worry about it one bit. As my mom shared her dream, we talked about our attachment to things on this earth. We talked about the hours spent at stores looking at stuff just to find a good deal, or see if we found something we liked. So much time and money is spent on things we can’t take with us once we leave this world. Yet we are bombarded daily with the thought that we should buy more, more, and more. Just a little bit ago I checked my email and had a message from a store advertising a preview for their Christmas items. It’s still July!!!
    As we talked, it became more and more evident to me that my mom has lost interest in the things and cares of this life. She shared her thoughts on Jesus, how she loves the sound of water, and how important it is to spend time in nature and with the people we love. Her mind and heart are in Heaven. She’s ready to rest from it all, from all the suffering from the past several months, close her eyes and sleep until Jesus wakes her up to take her home. When our eyes are on Jesus, all the things of earth loose their interest. This is not our home.
    She’s right. When it comes down to what truly matters, things are definitely not it. I don’t think we’ll ever get to the end of our journey on this earth and look back with regret that we didn’t have more stuff. Or that we didn’t fill our schedules with even more things to do.
    After we hung up, I took a hard look at my life, the things I own, my schedule, and how I’m using my God given time. Even though for the past four years I’ve been on a journey to simplify my life in several areas, there is still room for improvement. After a few hours busy with my daily activities, I remembered that I hadn’t spend time outside enjoying my backyard in a long time. I’ve been too busy with the things inside. So I grabbed my supper, came outside, and enjoyed vegetable soup, homemade bread, and a scrumptious dessert of fresh figs while listening to the wind play through the leaves of the trees and the little birds getting food from the feeders. Then I grabbed my computer and decided to write what I had learned today.
    What a blessing my mom is even in her darkest hour. When I told her I shared her love for the sound of water, she said that everytime I hear it, I can remember that she loves it too. I don't think I can ever forget it. Thank you mamã for teaching me what is truly important in life. 

"Do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.  But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

Matthew 6:25-33