Two suitcases!

There I was, sitting in the middle of my bedroom, surrounded by my stuff, trying to decide what to bring. I was having a hard time deciding on which clothes would work better for the weather and what else could I take with me. It was not going to be a short trip.

Less than 6 months before I had gone through the most difficult experience of my life. I had lost my father to cancer and my life, as I knew it, was being changed forever. I was angry with God and had told Him to forget that I existed. If after all the prayer for my dad He hadn't healed him, which I knew He could've so easily done, then I didn't want anything to do with Him anymore!

But there I was on the floor, trying to decide what to bring to the next chapter of my life... a chapter that God was writing, even though I had told Him to forget me. God had placed in my family's life some wonderful friends who came together at a most difficult time for us and provided for our needs. And one of the ways they did that was by paying my way through school at a Christian university in the United States. This brought some direction to my life, for at that time I felt lost.

All I could bring on the plane were two suitcases. They laid there open on the floor while I put in and out the things that I thought I would need for the next 4 years while I finished my degree. I just couldn't decide on what I would need or could bring and I was there in my room for several hours trying to make up my mind. My mom came to my rescue and with her help I was able to decide on what to bring. We closed the two suitcases and put them close by the door.

It's been almost 15 years since that day. During my college years, God introduced me to a wonderful man and friend who asked me to be his wife. I didn't go back to my home country as planned, but now I can see that this was part of that new chapter of my life that God was and has been writing. Living and growing with my husband has been the most wonderful experience on my life. He is a blessing in so many ways and after all these years of being married, I can see how God has blessed me in so many amazing ways every single day of my life. Not one day has been wasted by Him. After some spiritual growing, God blessed us with a gift straight from His hands that we plan and are working on taking to Heaven: our child. What a joy! And I have learned so much since being a mom and I so understand not only that children are a blessing from God, but also that we need to have a heart like a child if we want to inherit Heaven!

During these past 15 years God has placed amazing people in my life, great friends, people who have helped me in my growth. In fact, my whole life is surrounded by amazing people! People whom God has used to shape me in to the person I am today and I am so grateful for every single one of them.

 The Bible says that God sets the lonely in families (Psalm 68:6) and this is so true! I am so glad that sometimes God answers our prayers with a no because that's exactly what He said when I told Him to forget I existed!

15 years ago I brought two suitcases with me for my new life. I think now we need a semi-truck to haul all our blessings!

Thank you Heavenly Father for Your love that I know I don't deserve. I love You too...

" God defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigners residing among you, giving them food and clothing"

Deuteronomy 10:18

"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling"

Psalm 68:5

Jumping up and down!

I am a mess! I so wish I wasn't but I am. I struggle every day against it, but I just can't do it. I am a mess! Another word for this mess that I am is sinner. Yup! I am a sinner. :(

The Bible says that sin is separation from God, but have you noticed how the devil uses this reality to bring a huge burden on us? I disobey God and I think that that's it! God can't forgive me. I can never approach Him anymore. I'm doomed! Or maybe we think that we can do something to appease God so He'll look on us with favor and we go through the struggle and sometimes embarrassment of making things right on our own. I don't know if this has been your experience, but it has been mine. But this is not how God says it is. The truth is different and so much more beautiful.

Earlier this week I was talking with a friend about king David. We were talking about how He committed adultery and murder and God still called David a man after His own heart. Then I showed my friend I Kings 14:8 where God says that David always followed His commandments and did only what was right in His eyes. When she read that her eyes opened wide and she was so excited about what we had just read that she was almost jumping up and down! I was thinking later that God's word is amazing because there I learn about God. He is Incredible to forgive in a way that He looked at David and saw no sin! David had confessed his sin and God forgave. End of discussion!

I remember struggling with the mental anguish of disobeying God and thinking that God probably looked at me and only saw my sin. He could forgive David, but not me. I'm a mess! But I started to realize that these thoughts were not according to God's word. God says that if I confess my sins He will forgive and cleanse me from ALL the bad things I've done. I John 1:9 I asked God to help me, but I was still feeling distant from Him and thought that I probably would have to just face the day with a heavy conscience until I would finally start to feel some peace. God doesn't work like that either and even though I was feeling distant from Him, He was very near helping me through this experience.

That's when I remembered how it is in my own life. When my son disobeys me and realizes that what he did was wrong, his natural reaction is to want to be close to me and ask for forgiveness. He doesn't say I'm sorry and leave the room. He's not afraid of my wrath (at least I hope he's not!) No! He says I'm sorry and comes close to me. He's confident on the fact that I want to forgive and to show him how much I love him. And I can't wait to hold him in my arms and to say how much I love him and how proud I am of him.

This is how God deals with us. Incredible how after all these years of being a Christian in my weakness I can think that I can't come to God and be accepted. He is ready to forgive and to love and to embrace me and say how proud He is of me.

And the burden of sin is lifted and He fills me with peace and joy for being His child. I was reading in a book about God's forgiveness called The Ministry of Healing and it says this: "The heaviest burden that we bear is the burden of sin. If we were left to bear this burden, it would crush us. But Jesus has taken our place... He will take the load from our weary shoulders. He will give us rest. He invites us to cast all our care upon Him, for He carries us upon His heart. Wherever we may be, He is at our right hand, to support, maintain, uphold, and cheer."

What an amazing God. Now it's my turn to jump up and down because I have been forgiven!!

 

" If you Lord, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand?

But with You there is forgiveness,

So that we can, with reverence, serve You."

Psalm 130:3,4

Miracles!

Tuesday I had to make a short trip in my car. Just three minutes one way. I had been busy working all day, so God used those three minutes alone to help me realize once again, how Great He is!

Miracles... it has been a process for me to understand this aspect of God. Does God do miracles? Without a doubt! How often? Well... in my experience not that often. Or has He? I have thought before that God is not that much involved in our lives. He's there making sure the world doesn't fall from space and that we don't wipe each other from existence, but He's not that involved in our lives in a personal level. I know this is far from truth, but my brain has led me to think like that in the past.

I pray I never go back to that way of thinking because it's a lie! God is always so near to His children, taking care of every little aspect of our existence. He's an active participant in what we do, from the books we choose to read, the meal we order at the restaurant, to the bigger things such as whom we marry, the birth of our children, the house we purchase, our health, and so much more. But for a logical person like me, sometimes God allows me to live experiences that help me realize He is so much bigger than I think! Lately I've been learning about miracles through the stories of three babies. Three amazing babies who have challenged my logical mind and who have no idea how much I have been learning through them.

Last year I had the privilege of witnessing the birth of an amazing little girl who had to enter the world a little earlier then expected. As soon as she was born she let go of a little cry, but then got quiet. As the nurses stood beside us trying to revive her little body, the thought that things could go terribly wrong entered my mind. I started praying intensively and placed her life in God's hands. In an instant her little body turned pink and she started crying. It was the most beautiful cry I've ever heard!

Then the daughter-in-law of a close friend found out she was pregnant. She and her husband had been trying to have a baby, but her previous pregnancies had ended in the terrible disappointment of a miscarriage. Now she found herself pregnant and decided to have an early ultrasound. At 7 weeks it is possible to see the tiny baby with a little heart beating. The baby could be seen during the ultrasound, but no heart beating. It was an incredibly sad moment and I didn't know what to say. I only could pray and that's exactly what I did. Me and several other people prayed for a miracle, because God is the only One who can truly see inside the womb. The Bible says that God forms our body in that secret place and He has a plan for us from that very beginning. So this mother decided to have another ultrasound a week later. As she was in the room I remember sitting with a friend praying and asking God for a miracle. God could...He created us. That wasn't difficult for Him...but it would be incredible for us. And you know what? He honored our request and that day that mother saw her baby with a little heart beating. And it has been beating for almost 30 weeks now. Just a few more weeks and I'll get to meet him!

Several weeks ago a close relative had to be admitted to the hospital due to complications from her pregnancy. She was 26 weeks pregnant. The doctors tried to control her situation hopping to wait until she was at least 30 weeks and then deliver the baby if needed. If you read about premature births you'll find out that babies have a greater chance of survival and fewer complications after 30 weeks. Earlier than that and there's a chance of all sorts of possible problems and complications. Sometimes being a health professional is not very good because you understand the risks. I knew what all that meant so I started asking God to help this mother stay healthy enough for another month until the baby was at least 30 weeks. If she could wait until week 30, I knew things would most likely be all right. But she didn't. At week 28 the baby had to be delivered.

The amazing thing about this beautiful little girl is that she hasn't had hardly any complications at all. She's just been quietly and beautifully growing on the outside what she should have grown on the inside. She spent a little over a month in the hospital and has been home for a few weeks now. She's tiny, but perfect, beautiful... amazing!

And this is what that three minute car ride made me realize. If this baby had been born at week 30 and had had no complications, I would think that it was just because she was born after week 30. But she was born at week 28 and has had no complications. I can't explain that... it was all God!

It is always God. Ever so interested in our lives and on what goes on with each one of us. Always using every situation, good or bad, for our good and to help us grow. I know from these three experiences that I grew a lot. I witnessed the power of an Amazing God who controls everything and who loves us so much. Wow! How can I not love Him back?

I know God doesn't do a miracle every time we have a problem. I don't know why and I really don't have to know. It is for me to only trust. But I know that whatever happens must be for His glory and He has used three beautiful babies to teach this child of His that He is the God of miracles and that I shouldn't be able to explain everything. Some things are truly impossible for me, but possible for Him. What an Amazing God!

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"With God all things are possible..."

Matthew 19:26