Back from the past

I recently I made a trip to my past as I was looking for my high school diploma. I don't know why I need it if I already have a college degree, but ok, I guess I need it if I want to further my education. As I was looking through some papers, I found a stack of letters from friends and loose pages from old journals from my times as a teenager and young adult. I hadn't seen those in a long time, so I sat on the floor and started reading through them. Some of the letters brought me smiles, some made me cringe at my foolishness, and some brought tears. I have a letter handwritten by my dad when I was 11 years old. How I miss him!

As I read those letters, I felt a desire to go back in time and redo some of the things I did. I wish I could've used different words or done things a little differently. I wish I could go back to some people and apologize for my childish behavior and for thinking I knew better. You know, teenagers know everything. ;) I guess some things of my past where dragging me down.

I sat there on the floor, resting against the foot of my bed, just thinking about those days gone by. In some of my journal entries I asked God to change me. I guess I didn't like me that much then. Maybe I felt like I was holding myself back. I wasn't where I wanted to be because of me. I didn't have the life I thought I wanted and I turned to God to change the person I was.  So it is incredible to look at my old self and my new self and realize that God did change me. Not how I was expecting at the time, but God has made me into a better person. I'm not sure how He did it, but He did it! And I know He's not finished with me yet, so I can't wait to see what else He's going to do. I'm a masterpiece in progress, although I have a feeling that in God's eyes I'm already a masterpiece. :)

Thoughts were racing through my mind and I slowly came back to 2012. I really can't change the past. And some of the things I did were the result of immaturity. I would've done differently now simply because I've grown a little more and I've changed. People change. The past is exactly where it's supposed to be: in the past. It's part of my growth. It happened how it was supposed to happen based on what I knew and the life experience I had. It's no use trying to change or fix it. I can't! It would probably just make things worse anyway. And I really don't have to. Unless I hurt someone and I need to express my sorrow, my past happened how it happened and now I just need to keep moving forward. And I'm sure a few years from now I'm going to look back at 2012 and not know what I was thinking because I'm not done growing and learning.

So there's no need to dwell on the past. The only reason the past is there, is to help me see God's work in my life, and that has been incredible. I need my past to see where I was and where I am now, which gives me hope to where I will be when God is finished with the work He has to do in me. He promised to complete it so I know He will.

Now, like Paul said, I forget the things that are behind me and press forward. I look ahead. I have a crown of glory waiting for me. When I finish this race, God will smile and say, "Well done, good and faithful servant." Matthew 25:23

Is your past dragging you down? Do you feel like you just can't get out from under it? Are you constantly being reminded of your mistakes and immaturity? Your past is part of your story, but it doesn't need to be your story. God can change it into something amazing. He's got plans to prosper you and to give you a future. He has a crown of glory with your name in it waiting for you. Any past mistakes, sins, wrongdoings God wants to forgive and bury in the deep of the ocean to be gone forever as if they never existed! Give it all to Him and watch what He does with your life. Get up and continue the race. You're almost there! No need to rely on how many times you've fallen. You just need to get to that finish line. And God will run with you, helping you along the way. Keep your eyes on the prize! What's behind is exactly where it needs to be, behind. Now just press forward, toward the amazing future God has prepared for you!

"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. "

Philippians 3:13,14

"And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."

Philippians 1:6

Just like the butterfly

I don't know how long it had been there, but when I noticed it, it stayed in the same place at least 2 more days. A little butterfly had landed on one of the flowers of the pot on the porch and just didn't leave. I nudged it gently, but it didn't fly away. It's wings were closed and the butterfly didn't want to go anywhere!
It had been raining for almost 2 weeks and so I thought it must have been a new butterfly and was waiting for the sun to dry its wings and then fly away. I was half right.

Two days later we woke up to a beautiful sunny day. I checked on the butterfly and it was gone. I couldn't stop thinking on how fascinating it was that the little butterfly didn't move while it was raining, but then as soon as the sun came up, it opened it's wings and flew away. I did a little research and this is what I found out. Butterflies can't fly well in the rain because they can't fly with wet wings. So they usually settle in a safe place and stay there until the sun shines and they can fly again. If their wings get wet, it is extremely difficult to fly, and some can't fly at all. And what if they land in a dangerous place?

How fascinating that the butterfly knows when to fly and when to wait. I so wish we humans had also the wisdom to know when to move and when to wait. I don't know how about you, but I'm finding it difficult to slow down. I just gotta keep moving, keep doing things, just going, going, going until my wings get wet and then I'm forced to lay still where ever I land! And not always do I land in a nice and safe place.

God wants to impart to us this wisdom of waiting. So many times He tells us to wait... when it's raining, when the conditions around us aren't the best, we should just find a safe spot, preferably at the feet of Jesus, and wait until the sun is shining again. If we don't do this, the results can be very painful.

 It's difficult for us humans to wait. We're so impatient. We want things done right now! If we have problems, we got to get things back to normal, pain free, as soon as possible! And we live in an age where we are constantly bombarded with information. We have to be plugged in the whole time! We are constantly on our ipads, laptops, and phones. Have you noticed how the news channels have all kinds of other news going on the screen while they are talking? Talk about information overload. And this can be all so addicting that we don't take the time to just sit down and relax. And what about our to do lists? They just keep growing and growing and we cut down on sleep, family time, and other important things so we can get all of those things done. And we still think there's not enough time in the day to finish everything! I'm tired just writing about all this!

We need to slow down!

I encourage you to slow down. Stop what you are doing and listen to God's voice. What is He saying? Move when He tells you to move, but until then wait for the rain to stop and for the sun to shine again. Just like the butterfly :)

http://www.ucolick.org/~egates/CostaRica/CostaRica-Pages/Image5.html

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

Isaiah 40:31

"Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!"

Psalm 27:14

Never alone

I love it when I get to wake up earlier than everyone else in the house so I can spend some quiet moments with my God. He always has incredible things to teach me and today was no different. As I sat quietly on the couch looking outside the window, He revealed some important truths to me. I had just read Mark 4:35-41 where it talks about Jesus calming the storm. Now, how many times have I read this story? Most of us know this story by heart and many of us have learned about it since we were kids. But just as anything else in the Bible, there are always new things to learn and discover.

So this is how the story goes...

Jesus is tired after a long day of teaching. He had been teaching his disciples and a large crowd of listeners and in the evening He suggested that He and his 12 disciples get in the boat and cross the lake to the other side. They leave the crowd behind and step into the boat. It's a calm evening as they quietly cross the waters of the lake. Jesus is tired and lays down to sleep in the stern. While He was sleeping a big storm comes up and the situation gets quite serious. The disciples try everything to keep the boat and everyone safe, but all in vain and they were getting desperate. The storm is just too big for them! They finally remembered Jesus who was still sleeping and quickly wake Him up: "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?" Mark 4:38

Don't you care? Jesus! We are in the middle of a storm. We are all about to drown in this sea of problems. The waves are too big and water is getting into the boat. Jesus, don't you care? We can't do it on our own anymore! We've tried! Trials and temptations are all around us and we just can't make it! Don't you care? How can you just lay there sleeping?

Jesus gets up and commands the storm to stay still and lovingly rebukes His disciples: "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" vs. 40

Why are you so afraid? We've been together all this time and you still don't trust in me? I'm in the boat with you. I'm going through the storm with you. Is your faith so small that all I can do is calm the storm? Why not ride the storm together? It's ok, I'm here. I'm not leaving you. I do care...more than you'll ever know...

As I read the words of this story, I could so see myself in those scared disciples. How many times have I gone through difficulties and after trying everything and realizing that I just can't do it, I finally turn to God, not to ask Him for help, but to complain that He must not care about me. Does this sound familiar to you too? We easily tend to ask the question "why? Why me?" And if God is so loving, then why does He allow us to go through such difficult things? Doesn't He care?

Years ago I read the story of a young man who had gotten cancer. The tittle of the story was "Faith Enough Not to be Healed." You can read it here. As I read his experience, I had to agree that it required a lot more faith for him to go through all he was going through and remain trusting in God, than to have his cancer simply cured. It does take more faith to go through a trial and remain faithful than to have the trial removed, and that's why Jesus asked His disciples "Do you still have no faith?"

Jesus promised that He will never leave us nor forsake us. Even if our own mother forgets us, and that's pretty difficult to happen, Jesus will never forget us. He loves us more than anyone else in this world. He knows we live in a difficult place, He knows we don't like to suffer. He didn't create us to suffer. That's why the Bible is full of promises for us during trials. God is always near us, and when we are going through problems, we can be sure that He is going through them with us. He's in the boat too!

So next time you are going through a difficult time, and you may be going through one right now, hold on to the boat and rest assured that Jesus is inside the boat with you. And if you start getting afraid ask Him to help you stay calm. Whatever He thinks is best for you, one thing is for sure. If you trust in Him, He will not only calm you, but will also ride the storm with you for He cares for you more than you'll ever know. The waves may be huge, the thunder loud, and water may be even getting inside the boat, but everything will be ok because He's with you. Just trust. Hold on! And at the end of the storm you'll be able to say like king David, who walked with God through the valley of the shadow of death ,"Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Psalm 23:6

 

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"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me."

Psalm 23:4

 "I sought the Lord and He answered me. He delivered me from all my fears."

Psalm 34:4

To a Wonderful Woman

God has placed some incredible people in my life, but there’s one in particular that has had a lasting influence in my existence from an early age. This summer I got to spend a few weeks with her, and what a remarkable woman she is.

I don’t know if it is because I’m older or because I'm a mother, if it is because of where God has brought me in my walk with Him, or maybe a combination of all, but this time I saw her with different eyes. We've been together a lot, but this time it was different, and I truly enjoyed what I saw. Let me tell you a little about her.

She has the most beautiful smile. Her face lights up when she sees me and it makes me feel happy. I just have to smile back. Her smile transmits love and joy, and through her eyes I can see how much she cares.

She’s humble. She doesn’t exalt herself. She wants others to feel their best. And when I’m with her, I do feel my best and I can’t stop sharing how wonderful she is. She’s also very generous, no strings attached. She gives from her heart. She would give me the world if I needed it. She likes to help, and loves to surprise me with little things and sometimes with big things. I know she wants the best for me.

She’s pure. She focuses on the future and where God is taking us. She really doesn’t care about the past, unless it brings glory to God. She looks at the good in people and there’s always something good to find. When I’m with her I feel motivated to be even better. She’s such and encouragement.

She’s very talented and quite the artist. If she doesn’t know how to do something, she’ll figure it out and learn what she needs to learn. She’s an amazing musician. She plays her piano with passion and the simplest piece of music becomes a masterpiece under her talented fingers. I could listen her play for hours!

She loves her husband and her children. Her grandchildren are a crown in her head and  she loves them with all her heart. She truly enjoys spending time with them, reading, playing, and listening to them. There’s just something about grandparents and their grandchildren. Some day I’ll figure that out.

One thing that I’ve always admired in her, is her ability to make us talk and share. I think it may be because she’s a great listener, but I truly enjoy our conversations, and this past summer we got to spend hours and hours talking. And our conversations are always so interesting. Love it!

Of all the wonderful things I saw in her, I always ended up saying the same thing: Jesus shines through her! I can see that she's been spending time with her Savior because I see Him in her. The Bible says that by beholding we become transformed, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that she has been beholding Christ!

This remarkable woman is the one God gave me as my mother, one of the greatest blessings in my life and what a role model she is to me. I too want to be an encouragement to others and I want them to feel their best when they are with me. I want to only see the good in people. I want to be humble and pure. But most of all, I want to reflect Jesus in everything I say and everything I do. I want people to look at me and see Jesus. I want my life to glorify God just like my mom’s life does.

Right now we live worlds apart. There is a big ocean separating us and we get to see each other maybe once a year. Thankfully the internet keeps us in touch daily, but I miss her hugs, her warmth, shopping and trying new recipes together, or thinking of new and better ways to decorate my house. I miss our cello-piano duets. I miss seeing her playing with my son or sitting at my desk chatting with my siblings on the computer. I miss going for walks with her or just sit on the deck chatting while trying to avoid the mosquitoes. I miss walking her to her cabin every evening and I miss seeing her smile every morning when I come downstairs. I miss not having her beside me in the car when we were going somewhere. How I miss her...

You know, the prophet John wrote Revelation when he was exiled to the island of Patmos, and in a vision that God gave him about the new Heaven and the new earth, he noticed that there was no sea. ( Revelation 21:1) Now I love the ocean, but that ocean separates me from the woman I love the most on this earth, so this promise is very dear to me.

I just can’t wait for that day when we’ll walk through the gates of our heavenly home and I’ll get to spend eternity close to this wonderful woman whom God placed in my life.

                 Happy birthday mama. I love you with all my heart!

"Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:  

'Many women do noble things but you surpass them all.' 

 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.  

Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."

Proverbs 31:28-31

A purpose for life.

What’s the purpose of life? Have you thought of it? Is this all there is to life? The day-to-day routine, every day, every year of our lives? We keep doing the same things every day with small variances here and there. Once in a while we try new things, go on a vacation, but it’s pretty much the same every day.

The other day I was driving out of the post office’s parking lot and had to stop for a lady to cross to her car. I don’t know how old she was. She had long gray hair, was wearing baggy pants with a dark t-shirt, and had tennis shoes on. Her shoulders were curved and her face was marked with wrinkles and worry. I don’t think she looked the way she did because she was old. She didn’t seem very old. I think she looked the way she did because she was weary. I may be wrong, but I believe body language speaks volumes. I looked at her and thought about her life. What was it about her life that made her stop taking care of herself? Was it because she didn’t care or was it because she was too tired to care?

What is the purpose of life? Have you thought of it? Why are you here? And why do you do the things you do?

The truth is, if it weren’t for Christ, there would be no purpose!

Often I think of what this world would’ve been if God didn’t have a plan for our salvation, or if Jesus had ran away from the cross. Can you imagine the world we would’ve lived in? We would have been at the complete mercy of satan and I have a feeling my generation would’ve never existed because we would all be dead long ago. Satan only brings suffering and destruction. This earth would be long gone.

But God had a plan. We were His children, His creation. He wouldn’t just lets us go. He wanted back what was His. So He had a plan. Sin came with consequences, eternal consequences, so Christ was going to take that punishment for us. Only someone without sin could do that, and no human being is without sin. We are all born with a natural tendency to separate ourselves from God. So Jesus took our place.

Lovingly and willingly, Jesus laid down on that cross, opened his arms, and allowed the Roman soldiers to nail his hands and feet to the cross. He could’ve have very well escaped that horrible and unjust torture. He could’ve sent a legion of angels to kill everyone involved in his death. But His love for us was so great that He stayed on that cross.

But what does all of this have to do with the purpose of life? Well...everything!

Without Jesus’ death, this life would be it. We would live it, die, and that’s it! Nothing more. Only death...eternal death. We would have a meaningless existence for I don’t know how long and then poof! Gone!

But with Jesus’ sacrifice, this life is just a stepping stone into a better one. A MUCH better one! I can live this life knowing that this is not it. I may still die, but if I accept that immense love, my death won’t be eternal. Soon, in His perfect time, Jesus will come and call all His family to move home with Him. Those who had died and those who are still alive.

Isn’t that great?

And even here on earth we can live with the joy, peace, and comfort of knowing that this is not it! We may have trials, problems, suffering, sickness, but we know that this is not it. The pain is momentarily and daily we are getting ready for our home in Heaven. Jesus overcame the world and came to give us abundant life in Him. And as I go through life here on earth, I can share with others God’s immense love, His plan to rescue us from the devil, and the new life He has in store for us. An eternal life of heavenly bliss!

"I have come that you may have life, and have abundant life!"

John 10:10

" Then I saw a 'new heaven and a new earth', for the first heaven and first earth had passed away. God's dwelling place is now among the people, and He will dwell with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death, or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." 

Revelation 21:1,3,4

Are you homesick yet?

Winter is over here in Alaska! Temperatures have gone up and the snow is pretty much gone. Roads are dry and the roofs of the houses are cleared from snow. I don't need my heavy jacket anymore, and boots for -40F have been put away till next winter. For several weeks now I've been making plans for gardening and landscaping and last week we planted vegetable seeds for the garden.  I'm just so excited about Spring!

And I'm not the only one. It's the conversation in pretty much every one's mouths. We all talk about it and exchange gardening ideas and tips. I've been reading about all the plants that grow successfully in the far north so I won't waste my time on vegetables that don't really grow up here. I'm so excited about the Spring that I can hardly contain myself. I think about it, I dream about it, I learn about it and talk about it. I just can't wait to start getting my hands on the dirt and stay until the late hours of the day playing in it. How wonderful that this far north, in the Summer, the sun pretty much doesn't set. This way I have plenty of daylight to do all I want to do. I may not even sleep this summer! It's going to be wonderful!

Soon there will be flowers and butterflies every where. The trees will be covered with leaves and days will be long and warm. We'll get to ride our bikes, go for long hikes, and explore with freedom the beautiful nature that surrounds us. We'll get to see again the robins, geese and cranes that had migrated away for the winter, and the town will be filled with tourists discovering the mysteries of the north. Love it!

Incredible how God many times uses nature to speak to us and to teach us valuable lessons. If I feel like this about Spring, how should I feel about Heaven? Shouldn't I be so excited about a future life without any problems, without any suffering? Shouldn't I be looking forward to my Heavenly Home so much that I think about it, dream about it, learn more about it, and talk about it?

How sad to think that so many times the cares of this life keep our minds away from what's really important. We are distracted with so many things. Have you noticed how life is just getting busier and busier? We spend our days working and making sure we get things done only to come home at night exhausted from all the toil. Then all we want to do is to veg out in front of the TV until we are so sleepy we go straight to bed. And the next day we do it all over again. And as this goes on day after day, we start loosing focus of God and His eternal reward and the excitement of Heaven goes away. We become comfortable just where we are. Like a friend of mine was telling me this week: Heaven is my Home, but I'm not homesick yet. 

How crazy is that! Life on this earth being good enough that we aren't homesick yet. Maybe we just forgot how wonderful Home truly is.  Why don't we take a limited-by-my imagination trip there?

First of all Jesus! We will be with Jesus! I don't even know how I'm going to react when I first see Him. Heaven is my home because of Him!

We'll get to build our own houses. I'll build mine near the beach by a waterfall. In fact, the waterfall will be inside the house! There will be no walls between the kitchen and the incredible garden and orchard I'm going to plant. Maybe I won't need a kitchen. Can you imagine that you'll get to design, build, and decorate your own home? And plant your own garden? (See Isaiah 65:21) Precious stones and precious metals will adorn the main city. The pavement in Heaven is the purest gold! We'll get to explore the forest and woods and not worry if a bear or lion is going to show up and attack us. In fact, the bear and the lion will explore the forests with us!

We will enjoy trouble free life. Parents will get to enjoy their children without worrying about sickness, bullying, or trips to the ER for broken limbs. Raising children in a perfect world...wow! We will also experience relationships like God intended them to be. If there is marriage in Heaven can you imagine how wonderful it will be? We'll get to experience in its fullness the most intimate relationship God has given to humankind. And we won't have to struggle with having to loose weight, with not having a job and not knowing what to eat. There will always be plenty of the best food ever! I'll get to eat fresh figs to my heart's content! We will have everything we need plus more.

I believe we will be forever learning new things about the infinite universe that surrounds us. We'll get to use to full capacity our perfect minds and perfect bodies. There will be no more wrinkles, no more gray hairs, no more cancer or diabetes nor amputations. No more death! No more sin!!

And we will get to understand even more the amazing plan of salvation and fully comprehend the incredible sacrifice that was made so we could have eternal life. And because of that and because of God's love for us, we will get to praise and love Him throughout eternity!

Talking about it gets me so excited! It's going to be so wonderful. I'll get to be with my daddy again and so many other loved ones who have died, never to separate again. I can't wait!

Of course Heaven is much better than I can imagine. God says in His word that we have no idea about the things He has prepared for us. He's got a surprise for us and He knows we are going to like it! Doesn't that sound wonderful? I really want to be there, what about you?

" What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived - these things God has prepared for those who love Him."

I Corinthians 2:9

"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth... God will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death, or mourning, or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

Revelation 21:1,4

"Look! God's dwelling place is now among the people, and He will dwell with them. They will be His people, and God himself will be with them and be their God."

Revelation 21: 3

Moving my Mt. McKinley

One of the roads I travel often goes up and down a hill. As I get to the top, if it's a clear day, I can see in the distance the Alaska Range with its beautiful, snow capped tall mountains that extend through the horizon. This morning was one of those clear days. As I was nearing the top of the hill I was wondering if I would be able to see the range. Sure enough, down in the distance, the mountains rose majestically. And then, just to the side, as I started going down the hill I could see it: Mt. McKinley. At more than 20 thousand feet high, it is the highest mountain in North America and it easily rises above all the other mountains of the Alaska Range. It is impressive!

As I contemplated the beautiful scene in front of me, I compared Mt. McKinley to all my problems. At the moment they seem huge and even though God has been giving me peace and strength, I am very well aware of what's going on in my life. But just as I was comparing that huge mountain to my trials, God brought to my mind that Jesus had once said that if I have faith like a mustard seed I can say to a mountain to move and it will move ( Matthew 17:20.) So right there and then I told my big mountain of problems and trials to move out of my way and then I rejoiced in the fact that God had honored my little mustard seed size faith.

Notice how the Bible text doesn't say that the mountain will disappear. It says that it will move from here to there. What I've just learned is that asking God to move the mountain is not asking God to make my trials go away, but asking that my trials won't get on my way. As the big mountain moves, I have a clear path before me with no distractions, no obstacles, no worries. God is in control and taking care of it all for me.

Last night before going to sleep I was telling God that a small part of me really wanted to complain about everything that is going on, but at the same time how could I when He's been so Wonderful in spite of it all? He then led me to read Psalm 29.

"Ascribe to the Lord glory and strength. Ascribe to the Lord the glory due His name. The voice of the Lord is powerful, majestic. His voice breaks the cedars. The voice of the Lord strikes with flashes of lightning and shakes the desert. 

The Lord sits enthroned over the flood. 

The Lord is enthroned as King forever."

As I read these words I didn't quite understand how this was the comfort I was needing, although I did acknowledge that God is all powerful and above everything. Maybe God was helping me understand that He's bigger than my trials?

But then the last verse brought it all home.

" The Lord gives strength to His people; 

the Lord blesses His people with peace." 

Psalm 29:11

This God who is bigger than anything, who is powerful to shake the deserts and make flashes of lightning with His voice; the God who sits in His throne as King forever, is the same God who gives me strength and blesses me with peace.What a wonderful promise God gave me last night.

And this promise is for you too. How's your life? Are your problems becoming too overwhelming?  Maybe there is sickness in your family, or maybe heartache. Maybe your children are not making the wisest decisions. Are you having financial difficulties? Is your marriage in distress? Or maybe you're having a difficult time with school or work. Are there broken relationships or misunderstandings in your life? How big is your mountain? Is it getting bigger and bigger? However big, God wants to remove it out of your way and give you a smooth path in front of you. He also promises you strength and peace. Hold on to those promises. Trouble free eternal life is just around the corner!

Photo by Bill Kasper

"If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

Matthew 17:20

" The Lord gives strength to His people; 

the Lord blesses His people with peace." 

Psalm 29:11