Angry with God?

 Sitting outside enjoying the calm evening. The smell of roses permeates the air and I sit here in my backyard watching a little humming bird drink sugar water from our feeder, while listening to the sounds of the late afternoon.  Another day comes to an end. It’s nice to enjoy a few quiet moments after a busy day. 
     
    I’ve been thinking about something that happened a few days ago in our household. It’s nothing new. It has happened ever since my son was a baby. You see, he loves me and finds comfort in me, so whenever he has a problem or gets hurt, he comes to me. While mommy’s kisses have helped with hundreds of hurts, and I’m always amazed how much they fix pretty much anything, this time I saw deeper. You see, whenever my son gets hurt he doesn’t get mad or blame me for his pain. He doesn’t stop talking to me or wonder how come I made him go through so much suffering. It really is not my fault if he falls off his bike, disagrees with his friends, if someone is mean to him, or if he suffers the consequences of his choices. However, I have the responsibility and the power to help him feel better. I can either fix the physical wounds by cleaning them and covering them with a band aid, or I can help heal emotional wounds by listening, talking, and offering advice from someone who’s been there before. My son knows I love him, I want the best for him, and I will help him go through whatever it is hurting him. 

    So the other day we were working on a physics experiment that had surprising results. You see, we learned that if we have a small ball on top of a bigger ball and let both fall on the floor at the same time, the larger ball will transfer energy to the little ball, and the smaller ball will go flying fast up in the air. Unless it is stopped by some obstacle like, for example, a young boy’s face. In pain he came to me for hugging and some ice.
    
    We live in a bad world where bad things happen all the time. Satan wanted to be king and has been showing to the universe the type of kingdom he can create. His kingdom is a complete disaster. People don’t get a long, get sick, kids are disobedient to their parents, do drugs, people die, disagree, and kill each other. Pain and suffering are a daily thing. So why is it that when we get hurt in this crazy world, we get angry and blame the only One who can give us comfort and make us feel better? God, our Comforter, is anxious to help us navigate through this world of pain. He longs to fill us with peace and strength. He wants us to know that everything will be ok. Yet when we are hurt, we blame Him, stop talking to Him, and even decide He must not exist. Unfortunately, I speak from personal experience.
    
    Maybe it will be good to remember a few of the many promises about how much God loves us and wants to comfort us.    

"God is our Refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble."

Psalm 46:1

"As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you."

Isaiah 66:13

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Psalm 34:18

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

Matthew 11:28

"The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all."

Psalm 34:19

     Next time you experience pain and suffering in this world, don’t blame God. It’s Satan’s fault. The enemy wants you to suffer. Instead, run to your Heavenly Father, the only One who truly loves you, who can comfort you, heal you, and help you go through difficulties with peace in your heart. 

   

Goodbye...again

Weather can be so unpredictable and moody. The other day we had a beautiful sunny afternoon and I gladly wore short sleeves while going to some friends' home for lunch. We had a lovely time together, but noticed the weather changing outside. By the time we left their house, it was very windy, cold, and raining. We headed to a restaurant where we met with some other friends and while inside noticed that the rain had transformed into snow. We got home late after a day filled with being with people we have grown to love during these past few years. Life is taking us to a new place and we want to be with our friends just one more time, just a little longer, before having to say good bye.

The next morning I opened the curtains to see a winter wonderland outside. The snow covered landscape against the blue sky was absolutely stunning. Slowly the sun inundated the scenery with its beautiful light. I couldn't help but look outside in wonder, and sat on the floor in front of the big floor to ceiling picture window in my office admiring the beautiful world God had painted during the night. I sat there reading the story of Jesus' last days on this earth. He gave up so much for me. His love for me is so incredible. How can I not love someone who loves me this much?

After breakfast I just had to go outside to capture with my camera the beauty that surrounded me. Birds were happily flying everywhere filling the air with their songs. Their joy was contagious! Because the Texas sun is so warm even when temperatures are cold, the snow was already melting. Large chunks of snow would fall from the trees and the sound of the melting snow hitting the ground from the rooftops reminded me of Alaska in the Spring. How I loved Spring in Alaska.

While walking through the neighborhood snapping shots here and there with my camera, a flood of memories filled my mind. I'm so blessed! Life has taken me to all sorts of different places all over the world and I have met amazing people everywhere. People are incredible! I may be partial, but I believe God has given me the best family and friends ever! I wish we could always be together, but in this world there is such a thing as goodbye and I have had to say goodbye many times. Because I allow myself to love and be loved, goodbyes are very difficult, but to love is always better than to not. All it means is that my group of family and friends is growing and when we all get to Heaven we are going to have the biggest reunion ever!

As I start a new chapter in this book called My Life that God is writing, I'm curious to see what new adventures He's going to put in front of me, what new friends I am going to make, how will we  impact each others' lives, and what new opportunities to serve Him will I have. All I know for sure from this side of the story is that "He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6 What a wonderful promise! All I have to do is rest in Him and enjoy the life He's giving me.

"He will cover you with his feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." 

Psalm 91:4

Prayer among skyscrapers

This past summer my family and I attended some meetings in a large and busy city. Big cities are very different from smaller ones and since our schedule was somewhat flexible, my son and I enjoyed exploring the sites while daddy was busy with his meetings. There were skyscrapers, cool cars, people with fancy business attire, rooftop swimming pools, and other interesting things to see. Our hotel room faced another tall building with offices, and we often saw people sitting at their desk until late at night. I wondered if the city ever slept. During the weekend the city was busy with all kinds of different events that are not a common part of my life. I must say though, that the most fascinating thing I saw was the sunrise from our hotel room on the 22nd floor! Breathtaking!
    
City life however, is not always glamorous and in the midst of all the busyness there is a lot of sadness. Sometimes sadness is hidden behind the busyness, but other times sadness is just right in front of our eyes. One day on our way to the meetings we encountered a homeless person. He was a thin middle aged man, his gray hair looked messy, and his clothes were dirty. The day was very hot and he was sitting on the ground, under the shade of a tall building. As we passed by him my son turned to me and said, “mamã, I wish I could help him. I feel sad for him. I really wish I could help him.” I didn’t know what to say or do as I was in an unfamiliar place, but I did know someone who could help me, so right there in the middle of this big city, among the tall skyscrapers, we asked God to either send someone to help that man, or to show us what we could do to help him. 

    We kept walking to the convention center where our meetings were being held and I confess I did not think about that man anymore. At the end of the day we were coming back to the hotel and there, sitting on the same spot was the same man. This time however, he wasn’t alone. There were two other people talking with him offering much needed help. My son squeezed my hand tight as he said that Jesus had send someone to help that man. With tears I lifted my eyes up past the skyscrapers around me to see the sky and thank my Heavenly Father for not only helping that man, but for allowing us to see our prayer answered. It strengthened my faith and I know it did the same for my son. As we walked back to the hotel we were both very excited and thanked God for answering our prayer. God is good and is ever so interested in us. Sometimes we think He is unavailable or distant, but He is ever so present. He has promised that He will never leave us or forsake us. Any other thought is a lie of our enemy the devil. Remember this truth whenever you have a need. He is interested in you and the desires of your heart, no matter how insignificant they seem to be. He answered the prayer of a little boy for a stranger who was in need, He answered the prayer of that stranger, and He answered the prayer of a mother who really needed God to come through for her and her little boy in an unfamiliar large city.

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened."

Matthew 7:7,8

When the answer is no

How we need quiet moments with God. Uninterrupted, completely focused on Him. For me those moments are in the morning, when most of my world is still asleep enveloped in the darkness that happens before dawn. I want to listen better when God speaks, so the morning calm makes it easier to hear Him talk. This morning I was sitting in front of my big window looking at the stars up above and thinking about the many storms so many of us are facing this moment. There are so many problems, and I don't know if it is because I'm older or more aware of life in general, but often it seems like there is no relief from the storm. Days, months, and years go by without it calming down. And we ask God for help ,but truly what we want is for our problems to go away. That's exactly what I told God this morning. It would be very nice if all of a sudden everyone on my prayer list was happy, healthy, and wealthy with no problems to weigh us down. Then God led me to Psalm 86...

I'm not a Biblical expert, so I don't know when David wrote Psalm 86 or under what circumstances, but in verse 16 David asks God to save the son of a woman who served the Lord. I started then to think of David's life. When He called Bathsheba to his palace and then had her husband killed, Bathsheba became pregnant. That child God said would not live. David pleaded and begged for God to deliver that child from death. David truly agonized over the whole situation. He probably felt the weight of his guilt and felt responsible. But even though David prayed and fasted God still answered no. David then put his trust in God knowing that He knew best.

God says no many times, doesn't He? Or maybe He's simply saying not yet.

How are to respond when God says no? How often, and I speak from experience, do we get mad at God for not granting our requests? We kick and scream and whine. We feel as if God has abandoned us and doesn't care about us anymore. It's hard when things don't go our way. 

You know, children are a lot like that. They have their wills and get upset when things don't happen the way they want. Have you heard of temper tantrums? The child kicks, screams, and whines. But parents also say no a lot and often children don't understand why. Depending on the age of the child, there are many times when parents can't explain why not because the child would simply not understand. 

It's so easy to understand this rationale with children, but we get very uncomfortable when it applies to us. The truth is God knows best and depending on our walk with Him, not always can He explain why as we would simply not understand. Until we see the way He sees, we won't get it. 

So what are we to do when God says no? The Bible is filled with guidance for us. We are first to go to Him so we can find rest. (Matthew 11:28) We are to trust (Proverbs 3:5) and not worry (Matthew 6:34). We are to be still (Psalm 46:10) and find strength in Him (Psalm 18:2). We are to rely on His promises knowing without doubt that He is always with us (Isaiah 41:10), no matter what we are going through (Psalm 23:4).

Today put your trust in God. No matter how He answers your prayers, resolve to rest in His love, wisdom, and His plan for your life. His plans are never to harm you, but to fill you with hope. There is a bright future just around the corner. A future with no more pain, suffering, problems, with no more death. That's our goal. That's where we need to focus. A future free of sin is our reward for staying faithful till the end. Lean on Christ your Rock! It's not always easy, but He promised that with Him, you can do everything! (Philippians 4:13).

 "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."

Matthew 11:28

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."

Proverbs 3:5,6

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." 

Matthew 6:34 

"“Be still, and know that I am God."

Psalm 46:10

 "The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety."

Psalm 18:2

"Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me."
Psalm 23:4 

"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."
Isaiah 41:10

"I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength."

Philippians 4:13

Morning blessings

My home office has a large window that goes all the way from the ceiling to the floor. It lets in lots of natural light and is one my favorite spots in the house. I like to sit on the floor looking outside watching the day begin. I've had the most interesting conversations with God while sitting on the floor, in front of my big window. My neighborhood is quiet, with many trees, lots of busy little birds that crowd the feeders, and friendly neighbors. I haven't met all of my neighbors yet. In this day and age people seem to live more isolated from each other, busy with our daily activities.

There are two houses in front of mine that I believe belong to parents and their children. The house with the children receives the newspaper every day. The paper person doesn't deliver the newspaper right to the door, but throws it into the walkway or somewhere in the yard. Hmmm I wonder if the paper delivery person is a young boy riding a bike carrying a bag over his shoulder full of newspapers. Most likely not, but that's how I picture a paper delivery person. 

I noticed though that every morning before the sun comes up, the father comes out of his house, goes to his children's front yard, picks the paper up from the ground, and puts it right in front of their front door. He doesn't ring the doorbell nor does he talk with anyone. This morning he had two little cats playfully walking with him. 

I have seen this every day that I'm looking outside early in the morning by my big window, but today I saw something else. Today I saw love! By dad bringing the paper to the door, the young family can just retrieve it without having to walk all the way to the yard. It's a simple gesture, but dad is saying he loves his children.

After the older gentleman went back to his house I started thinking about the many unseen blessings my Heavenly Father bestows upon me every day. He's protected me every night of my life when I'm sleeping. He's waken me up and is still blessing me with the breath of life. He sends lots of little birds to my feeders because He knows I like it. Every morning I've been blessed by eating breakfast, my most favorite meal of the day. What a feast it often is. I have great friends all over the world. He gave me a loving family and I get to share my days with my husband and my son. These are just a few of the blessings my heavenly Father gives me every morning! Little gestures that mean the world to me.

He does the same for you. Every new day there are countless blessings waiting for you when you open your eyes in the morning. It's very easy to focus on the negative around us, so it does take an effort to look at the wonderful blessings He gives. However, if you think about the good, you are going to see a loving Heavenly Father bestowing His love and care on you. You are His kid. 

Little birds just started coming to the feeders and are happily singing their morning songs. In fact I  just saw my first robin of the season. My heart and lips are smiling. I'm going to spend some time enjoying this blessing from God. He loves me! And He loves you too!

"The Lord's loving kindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning." 

Lamentations 3:22, 23

"And I will make them and the places all around my hill a blessing, and I will send down the showers in their season; they shall be showers of blessing."

Ezekiel 34:26

Strength in the past

The Bible is the best psychology book ever! What an amazing book that addresses so beautifully the struggles we face as human beings living in a sinful world. Have you ever felt abandoned by God when going through a difficult time? You may be going through that right now. The problems just keep pilling up with no relief in sight and you feel as if you are drowning. Where is God? This morning I was thinking about that and wondering if a friend I have who's going through difficult health problems was feeling that way. Then God, in His infinite wisdom and love, led me to read Psalm 77 and what an amazing answer to my question! When we feel like God is not listening to us anymore, we must remember how He's been there for us in the past. That will strengthen our faith and encourage us knowing that in His time, He'll provide the relief we need. He has done it so many times before, He will do it again. I need to remember this for me personally, but also it has given me direction in being a blessing to my friend and anyone God puts in my path who may be discouraged at the moment. I must point to the amazing blessings God has already given, certain that He will continue to give in His perfect time and wisdom.
How great is our God!

"I cry aloud to God,
    aloud to God, and he will hear me.
² In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord;
    in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying;
    my soul refuses to be comforted.
³ When I remember God, I moan;
    when I meditate, my spirit faints.

⁴ You hold my eyelids open;
    I am so troubled that I cannot speak.
⁵ I consider the days of old,
    the years long ago.
⁶ I said, “Let me remember my song in the night;
    let me meditate in my heart.”
    Then my spirit made a diligent search:
⁷ “Will the Lord spurn forever,
    and never again be favorable?
⁸ Has his steadfast love forever ceased?
    Are his promises at an end for all time?
⁹ Has God forgotten to be gracious?
    Has he in anger shut up his compassion?”

¹⁰ Then I said, “I will appeal to this,
    to the years of the right hand of the Most High.”

¹¹ I will remember the deeds of the Lord;
    yes, I will remember your wonders of old.
¹² I will ponder all your work,
    and meditate on your mighty deeds.
¹³ Your way, O God, is holy.
    What god is great like our God?
¹⁴ You are the God who works wonders;
    you have made known your might among the peoples.
¹⁵ You with your arm redeemed your people,
    the children of Jacob and Joseph. 

¹⁶ When the waters saw you, O God,
    when the waters saw you, they were afraid;
    indeed, the deep trembled.
¹⁷ The clouds poured out water;
    the skies gave forth thunder;
    your arrows flashed on every side.
¹⁸ The crash of your thunder was in the whirlwind;
    your lightnings lighted up the world;
    the earth trembled and shook.
¹⁹ Your way was through the sea,
    your path through the great waters;
    yet your footprints were unseen.
²⁰ You led your people like a flock
    by the hand of Moses and Aaron."

Psalm 77

Rescue Plan

Overwhelming feelings of sadness took over me. "Lord, how I can take care of my patients and be cheerful for them when I feel so down myself?" I asked God. It was really difficult to keep going. I began to notice then, that every time I interacted with a patient I was able to be there fully for them, but as soon as I left I was reminded of the feelings of loss and misunderstanding I was dealing with. I looked out through one of the windows and stared at the winter landscape on the other side of the glass. There was still snow on the ground and the trees and the grass were brown and lifeless. The wind was blowing with force the naked tree branches. Outside looked cold and uninviting. I just stared out the window offering a silent cry for help to the God of the universe. He knew I needed Him, so He gently whispered in my mind the words of Psalm 34:18 - "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed." With renewed strength I went back and finished my shift knowing that my God was especially close to me that day. 

When I got home there were two boys happy to see me at the end of a long day. My husband was excited to show me a large envelope the mail person had brought. When I saw where the envelope had come from I began to cry. It was from the university. I knew what it was inside. Another powerful demonstration of the amazing God I serve and who never leaves me alone. I quickly opened the envelope and removed from inside my diploma. My diploma! Truly God is close to the brokenhearted and rescues those whose spirits are crushed. What an amazing gift was waiting for me at home at the end of an emotionally difficult day. My husband and I read the words written on the diploma. He pointed out to the words under the degree: Magna Cum Laude. Then he gave me a tight hug and said he had graduated "thank the Laude." He's my best friend, what you're gonna do about it?

If you ever feel alone and that God is far from you, remember He promised to never leave you, never forsake you. If you ever feel tempted to think that God has abandoned you, know that it is a lie from the devil. You are never alone. Never! And He has a plan to rescue you from whatever difficulty you are facing. The rescue plan He had for me at the end of that hard day was receiving my diploma and the loving embrace of my husband and son. After that, all I could think was how God had carried me and my family the two years I had gone back to school. My heart and mind were focused on the many blessings, and the things that had weighed me down earlier in the day had become lighter to carry. In fact, I believe God took them and carried them for me.

God has a rescue plan for those who are crushed in spirit. In His time, according to His wisdom and plan for your life, God will deliver you from whatever you are going through. Regardless of how you might feel His promises are sure. You are never alone. Never! Hold on to that assurance.

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"Don't be afraid. Just stand still and watch the LORD rescue you today."

Exodus 14:13

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed."
Psalm 34:18